Visual Vertigo viSUaLiZed, in b&w
THe WoRLd ISaNNoyINgLY OFfCEnTEr
iBoUgHt aPaiROfWaLkIngStIcKs AnDsUnGlAssEs
iLoST 50poUNds WalKINg AnD GaINED CoNfiDence
iStiLl HaVe viSuAL VeRTiGo, bUt iT iS mAnaGAbLe
iWRoTe tO tHe TrEAtMenT CTr tO DIscovER My OLd PT
fOr veRTiGo LoCAl NoW cAn TrEat viSuAL veRtIgo!
iStArT tReaTEmt sOoN. teNaCItY WiNS!
— this is the writing I submitted, but wasn’t published. I gave it to my ViSuALvErTIgO therapist (PT), who I haven’t actually been able to begin therapy with because of my FUCKING hand. I had to fight to even discover there was a TREATMENT for ViSuALvErTIgO <- ever since I wrote this in late May, my auto type has saved this. I love it! I respectfully requested permission to use it on my blog, knowing anyone could share it, and it wouldn’t be “hers” anymore once I placed it here. I’m simply placing it online while I’m thinking of it now; In bed. I’ll write more about my hand tomorrow, or when I’ve finished my second set of SSDI paperwork sent to me, probably because of my trip. Goodnight.
No. I haven’t SLEPT in nearly 3 WEEKS !!
I’ll leave this here. I’m going back to bed. Dad started coughing and a startling jolt to my system every 5 to 10 seconds.
Ugh. Maybe I can sleep at last. I need to do my OT exercises first. I’ll start music with a cup of tea or wine. Maybe I’ll have a bagel? Or, it’s lunchtime… We’ll see.
I’m a Hamilton. The musical is FAR more than I expected. I never thought I would enjoy hip-hop, yet I know the full musical by heart! That’s what it takes, sometimes, for Lisa to try something new. Make it ABOUT HER and she’ll pay attention. So he did. Thank you, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Like many, I dare say, most Americans, I knew nothing of Alexander Hamilton until you wrote your musical based on Chernov’s biography. I have his book as well, but I have a problem with reading paragraphs since my ViSuALvErTIgO kicked in Summer of 2010.
I carried a stone for A.Ham from October 2015 until I left it upon his grave on April 23 or 24 (I will look up and confirm the date, I believe it was the 23rd). Yes, the 23rd. I carried it with a stone for Anne Frank. My Survival Day 20 trip was as much about Anne and Holocaust rememberance as it was about my SurvivalDay. We have a wolf at the door. It is frightening how few people who shout and scream about losing freedom ignore the wolf at the door.
I am posting this now to post the images I have from the graveyard at Trinity and where I stayed and strolled on Jane Street, where A.Ham died after his duel. I believe the day I left the stone for A.Ham was also the day I fell, injuring my hand. As I’m learning “It’s Quiet Uptown” on guitar as part of my Occupational Therapy in recovery, I guess this brings me full circle. My OT said if I practice guitar for 1/2 hour a day that can count for therapy, I can ignore the exercises she gave me. Done.
Update: August 8, 2016, but not saved until after midnight, so August 9, 2016: I changed the image from the one I took of Hamilton’s tomb to my dog tag, because this isn’t a normal fan post. I would also like to thank annalisareyanne and her redbubble page for its products/designs of HamiltonMusical. It was her image I used, with permission, for this dog tag on cafe press. My tag isn’t searchable, that I know of. I’m not set up, or interested in making money. I’m also szrgirl on YouTube.
Practicing guitar after 3 months in a wrist brace and finger splints was a HUGE MISTAKE, though! I played for 20 minutes in one day, understand I don’t really know how yet, and spent the next 2 days in EXCRUCIATING PAIN! I was in tears today at OT. She told me to #TakeABreak so I will. I see my epileptologist tomorrow, OT Thursday, ViSuALvErTIgO Friday… and on it goes. Doctors Doctors Doctors…